A month ago, when I wrote my last update, I had no idea how different my world would be a few short days later.
My best-friend sister, whose household I share, was killed instantly in a vehicle accident. She left behind two teenagers and a grieving husband. And a shattered community.
I'll resist the temptation to bore you, who did not know her, with how wonderful and radiant she was. Let's just say that the video snippet at the end of this post, reflects the numbness and sadness I feel at her sudden departure.
This journey that skims along the cliff-edge of death, provides me with a front row seat to the suffering of grief in its various forms.
I've always claimed that I'm a cold fish ... unsentimental. Even when my favourite person in the entire universe left suddenly. The reality of it still slips from my grasp because I've been in the habit of questioning it and testing the validity of it for most of my life. Because it IS a matter of how we each define reality. And my definition of reality has consistently extended beyond this flat plane of 3D. My reality is filled with Gods and Angels ... galactic worlds and alternative dimensions. Death simply slips us elsewhere. We are never truly gone.
I continue to be the Priestess throughout this journey. Supporting and comforting others, even strangers who extend their condolences to me with tears in their eyes. The energy around me is soft and compassionate. A wistful sadness covers me, rather than sharp anguish.
People tell me I am strong. That's not the entire truth. I've worked hard, going into the abyss time and time again, willing to feel pain carve itself out my soul. Like an athlete training to be their best, or an artist honing their skill, or like ... anyone, really ... who is willing and determined to push through their discomfort and resistance in order to break through to an expanded state of being.
This is why I have limited patience for delicate and fragile individuals. For those perversely proud of their victim status. It's a powerful status, but an inauthentic one. Talk about social constructs ... the Victim is par excellence! Truly a modern phenomenon.
Now ... on an entirely different front. Dante is being a buster again (a de-clawed combo of bugger+bastard). His YouTube channel is currently devoid of all videos. He hasn't deleted them, just made them private. And, to be precise, it's not Dante, per se, but his crew. They are under orders. And Dante is not at the top of the hierarchy, although he's up there. So there's some strategic shenanigans going on that we'll never get to know about. Remember to hold your conjectures lightly. However, I keenly wait for the next turn of the information tide.
And it also means that many links I had to Dante's videos are now redundant. I'll have to tidy these up. In due course.
And what I'm working on ... I've deleted the Paladin Warrior forum. For now. It was premature. There's a whole lot of groundwork I need to do first. A whole lot of infrastructure of both teachings and hanging it together for your streamlined user experience. However, I'm kaleidoscopic about it ... not linear.
Although I continue to circle around the creation of my Udemy courses. That pull is still strong. I've been a tad distracted though. But the plans and intentions are as unshakable as ever.
Are you listening to me, Azazael? ... Angels? I promise you all that at least one will be launched before 1 November 2020. You can kick my rear if I fail to accomplish this.
Anyway, thanks for reading, and I invite you to browse through my topics /tags /labels and explore whatever interests you.
A tribute for you, my beloved Stefanie, Angel Princess.
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